Managing emotions to learn from failure

Failure is knowledge, knowledge is a success yet little is said about failure. The failures of Jack Ma Yun, Co-Founder of Alibaba group, became known to us after he became successful. The reality is the good and bad work together for our good but how do we soar when the bad occurs?

Jack Ma tried 3 times for university and failed, applied for Havard ten times and failed, and applied thirty times for a job and got rejected. This is enough proof to quit and seize to be optimistic but here we are discussing him because he is a successful man as you read this.


Failures can become rewarding

No one boast of success achieved on a silver platter. If anyone from the 8 billion world population can achieve it easily without any obstacles then it is no victory.

We have to retract the knowledge that if you ever fail in anything, be it exams, marriage, or at the workplace then you were not made for it. Thomas Edison will always be remembered for the light bulb invention. It took him 1,000 tries before he developed he could get a prototype. He said the light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps. Failure can be your steps to your success story.


How to deal with failure

Each individual has a psychological need for confidence, belongingness, and autonomy. Believing in ones’ self, having a sense of belonging, and being in control is human nature and can be bruised but we can counter with the following:

    • Acknowledge your feelings

Living in the deceit of reality is the easiest way but not fruitful. Recognizing your failures will give you clarity in finding solutions.  Knowing why you feel that way will help you know where you fall short. Why do you feel frustrated?

    • Accept responsibility

After finding clarity on how you feel, there is work to do. No one can take responsibility for your shortcomings. Acknowledge your role and take action to prevent further mistakes. Just as the spotlight would be narrowed to the performer on stage, you would not want to share your greatness with another so the ball is in your cot.

    • Do not complain

Understanding the basis that failure is knowledge, do not complain when you fail, and while you work on your shortcomings be optimistic. Successful people always share how they were inspired by others, either by reading their biographies or having one-on-one interactions with their mentors.

    • Channel negative emotion productively

What can you do differently? Knowing how you feel, how do you redirect that energy to achieve your goals? Review what takes your time the most.  Here, you must spend time brainstorming and engaging in other activities to stay productive. Get busy by inculcating some positivity in your daily routines like, reading and listening to motivational materials.

    • Find help

We mostly think and believe people are not ready to help but until we seek help no one would know we need help. Yes! You want to share the spotlights alone but you have to know when you need external support. It can help you process and overcome failures. A family member, friend, or colleague may reveal to you some of the shortcomings you have overlooked.  They can also advise or be involved in your brainstorming time.



Photo: Piece of Cake/Shutterstock


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