Getting Back With Your Ex

When it comes to going back with your ex, Parikh persists to concentrate on your inner self.

Monica Parikh is an attorney and a dating coach. She is well-known for “School of Love NYC” where she uses her platform to empower women to be their best selves and to attract healthy and rewarding love.

Youth Time Magazine interviewed her for a special topic related to relationships. Going back with your ex is the topic we interviewed Parikh. She has a great point of view not only on this topic but overall on human relationships. She insists on inner and personal development.

When it comes to going back with your ex, Parikh persists to concentrate on your inner self. In the end, you can’t change the way another person interacts with you, but you can change your approach towards it.

Parikh says that people tend to go back with their exes mostly because of fear of being alone, fear of the unknown, fear of losing love etc.

“Usually, the familiar and comforting. It’s also relatively “low-risk” and provides immediate gratification. Although the happiness will likely be short-lived, it solves an immediate problem. Engaging in personal transformation work, dating again and going through numerous bad dates isn’t for the weak!”

She assumes that is nothing wrong to go back with your ex if both individuals have committed to their personal growth and development. 

“There should be 0% effort in changing your partner and 100% effort in changing yourself. You have to be the living example of love that you want to be reflected you.”

“Unless both individuals do the inner work, they will likely fall into the same patterns that lead to the breakup in the first place,” says Parikh.

She is a fan of the “no contact rule” since she believes that having no contact with your ex will give you space to heal.

“No contact allows you to take your power back, so you can find happiness outside of external sources. Until you learn to be 100% happy no matter what, you cannot be in a healthy relationship”.

Parikh recommends that a couple should stay 1 to 5 years apart for personal transformation before going back together. But before going back together they should have something in mind: “Are they growing into their best selves together? Are they experiencing freedom and love? Or, are they having the same fights over and over again? Some key skills they should be navigating: boundaries, de-escalation of conflict, interdependency (versus codependency), and development of a shared vision for the future.”


Picture: Shutterstock/ID: 1967345365 

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