The Difficulty of Making Friends as an Adult

We grow up making friends as children left and right but that becomes all the more difficult as years go by.

There’s no specific guide on how to make friends but when you’re a kid it really does seem like the easiest thing ever. This might be why it becomes so difficult and it may even come as a surprise to people that once they grow up a little, they notice how difficult it is to make new friends. It really varies from person to person but generally speaking adults don’t nearly have as many pathways to make friends as they did in their early years.


Making Friends as a Kid vs. as an Adult

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Elena Kharichkina/shutterstock

Certainly, most of us have been in a position where we’ve just gone up to some other kid on the playground and asked them to play together. That could have been the start of a lifelong friendship or perhaps we never saw that other person again. All that mattered there is that it was simple, easy and most importantly it worked. You run around, you have fun, and you make new friends at every corner. This mindset grows little by little inside our minds and ultimately sets some expectations over time. That may be exactly why it comes as a bit of a shock realizing as you grow up that it’s not as easy to make new trustworthy friends for a number of reasons.


Why It’s More Difficult as an Adult

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NDAB Creativity/shutterstock

There are obviously different standards people have for new friendships at different ages and places. Some things matter a lot more to adults than to kids. Trust is always a key thing but as a kid, all you’re looking for is either a playmate or someone to hang out with during lunchtime at school. Naturally, people have levels of friendships that they put every person in. You can have casual friends you just hang out with every once in a while and then you have those you consider best friends. Background information on someone always plays a role and your shared interest plays a role for kids as well but for adults, it’s usually a must in friendships. Other things like being able to depend on someone and consistency in keeping your word; are all very adult things that are so difficult to find in new people we meet.

How to Make Friends

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Jacob Lund/shutterstock

One of the best ways to make new friends as an adult when you’re not in college is to fully find out what your true interests and hobbies are. Then, you can partake in groups and events that relate to your interests, where you can meet people like you and hopefully make those friends you’ve been looking for.

Moreover, taking the first step and getting out of your comfort zone is also a must. Be curious about new things and don’t be afraid to visit new places. Try not to get too caught up in life’s problems too much, though obviously, that’s easier said than done. Loneliness almost seems to go hand-in-hand with adulthood. Once you grow out of some older interests and you lose your high school or college connections, making new friends can be one of the most essential things in life. Everyone wants to find their circle to spend their days with. A circle where you can feel accepted and loved. Don’t lose hope for that no matter what happens moving forward.


Loneliness is Widespread

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The worst thing about loneliness is that so many people feel it but everybody thinks they’re the only ones going through it. At times no matter how many people are in the room with you the lonely feeling doesn’t go away. Often only real connections with people you are close with can fill that hole in your heart.

In most people, once they pass over the age of 25, loneliness seems to creep up slowly but surely. Maybe the best thing to remember is that you are not alone so put yourself out there and try to meet new people who you can spend quality time with. You’re never too old to make new friends and for most people, the real meaning of life rightfully is making connections that last forever.


Photo: Look Studio/shutterstock


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